Wednesday, February 29, 2012
As in, un-fun. Our international flight experience with United was lame. I said we reserved a bassinet. Apparently, you have to pay a fee of several hundred dollars to secure the bulkhead seats to sit near your bassinetted baby. Instead they just moved the person seated in our row, so our kid had to try to sleep on a convex surface with his head up against that bulky part of the armrest that doesn't fold up. Maybe I shouldn't complain because it's nice that they arranged a free seat for us? Or maybe I should complain because the world is sometimes hostile to mothers of young children. I spent the five hours that he fitfully slept with my folded body stuffed in the gap between our row of seats and the row in front of us to keep my sleeping son from rolling off the seat onto the floor, oh, yeah, except when there were two bumps of turbulence and the flight attendant came by and curtly told Dan that "she [me] has to sit up and buckle, too." Okay, so I'll just let my baby bounce onto the floor, then. Thanks for all your attending.
And how about how flight attendants don't smile back at you, even though you say lots of affirming gratitude words? On Korean Air, the flight attendants bring you extra steam buns and hold people's babies just for fun.
On our second United flight, the flight attendants had to refuse to let people move to the empty exit row seats because those seats now cost more money to fly in. So, in case of emergency, no one's going to open the doors and lead us down the slip and slide unless they wanted to pay 50 dollars for that extra inch of leg room.
Also, since when does a six hour flight come with no food service of any kind? Not even a peanut or a pretzel.
And, why is TV on United only for first class? And why do first class seat belts have shoulder straps? Why not be more obvious about how much more you value the lives of the rich people?
I hated other things about the flight, too, but I can't remember them now. It was the longest 6 hours of my life, even longer than the ones I spent in labor (but with marginally less stinging).
It's not all bad, though. My parents drove to and from Orlando in one day to pick us up and meet our boy. He loves them and loves touching their faces. My brother paid Joah the highest compliment I think my brother could pay a baby and said that he looked CGI. Also, the fridge raiding in America has been exceptional. They have salami here. And pickles! And leftover spaghetti. My mom baked me two cakes with two different frostings. And, just so you know, ignoring other people's conversations is apparently a learned skill or a skill you can lose, anyhow. Dan and I felt like Super(wo)man, understanding everything everyone was saying. I think we are a little culture shocked.